Check-In with Your College Student
As you navigate how to communicate with your college student, you will probably find that some days your student is willing to talk and others they are not up for sharing. These check-in points will give you an idea of what they might be going through and some questions you can ask to get them sharing about how they are doing and what their life is like here at SUU.
Conversation starters:
- What are your goals for the semester?
- What classes are you enjoying so far? Why?
- What did you learn last semester that could help you this semester?
- What winter activities do you think you should try?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Disappointment with fall semester grades
- Unwanted weight gain
- Spring start student may experience difficulty fitting in.
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Uncertainty about their major
- Difficulty fitting in
How can you help?
Encourage your student to get involved in campus activities, clubs, and volunteering. Your student should go to professor office hours and get to know the staff on campus. This will help them build a support system on campus and find mentors that will help them.
- What campus activities are you participating in?
- What are your plans for Spring Break?
- Are you thinking about changing your major?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Roommate/Relationship Issues
- Undecided on a major
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Thinking about leadership positions for next year
- Thinking about what they want to do for Spring Break.
How can you help?
Remind your student to meet with their academic advisors before registration for fall semester in March. This is also when leadership positions are being advertised for the next academic year. Encourage your students to apply or get involved in leadership roles on campus.
Conversation Starters:
- Have you scheduled a meeting with your advisor?
- Have you talked to the instructor for suggestions about how to improve your performance?
- Have you applied for FAFSA for the next academic year?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Staying motivated
- Getting sick with colds/flus
- Thinking about next years housing arrangements
- Registering for classes
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Staying Motivated
- Registering for classes
How can you help?
This is a good time to talk to your student about the balance of social and academic commitments. Along with that, Spring break is coming up so it’s a good time to revisit or talk to your student about alcohol and drug use. While many of your households had strict rules about underage drinking during the high school years, now that your students are living independently at college, an “abstinence only” policy may not be practical. Educating your student about responsible drinking isn’t the same thing as encouraging or endorsing underage drinking. Help them stay safe by talking to them about safe partying which includes, protecting their cup, knowing their limits, catching a sober ride, trusting their gut, sticking with their friends, and when to call for help.
March is a good time to start thinking about housing for fall semester. They can check out the off-campus housing website here, this is not an exhaustive list. Fall registration is typically at the end of March so make sure your student knows what classes they are going to take and has checked to make sure they don’t have any holds on their account.
Conversation Starters:
- What’s the most helpful thing an instructor has done to help you learn in a course?
- What are your summer plans (internship, job, classes)?
- Have you started preparing for final exams?
- Are you getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising?
- When do you have to move out of the residence hall?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- End of semester stress and fatigue
- Procrastination
- Stress about moving out
- Unsure about summer plans
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- End of semester stress and fatigue
- Procrastination
- Thinking about summer jobs or internships
How can you help?
Students tend to struggle with motivation after spring break. Help them stay focused and positive until the end of the semester by reminding them of the reasons they chose to come to college and what their strengths are. Sending a care package would be a good way to lift their spirits and get them through the last few weeks of the semester. With the weather warming up, it’s also a good time to get outside and enjoy some sunshine. They can also utilize our P.E building and outdoor center.
Incoming students:
- Do you know where you can go for health care and what pharmacies you can use?
Returning students:
- Are you taking summer classes?
- Will you be working during the summer?
Incoming students may be experiencing:
- Prepping for college
- Stress of earning money to support them through college
Returning students may be experiencing:
- Transition of returning home
- Summer classes
- Academic recovery
How can you help?
If your student is moving home over the summer, it’s good to have a conversation about summer expectations. If you have lived a part for the past year, acknowledge the possible difference in your lifestyles and set boundaries.
If your student is an incoming freshman, help them figure out where they can go if they need to see a doctor, and what pharmacy they can use. If you have health insurance, get them a copy of the insurance card that they can bring with them.
Incoming students:
- Do you know how to use our bank?
- Do you know how you are paying for college? What will your budget look like?
- How is your mental health?
How can you help?
Have your student notify their bank that they will be moving so they aren’t flagged for suspicious activity. If they haven’t already, have them start thinking about and creating a budget for their expenses. These are good resources to consider:
- SUU’s Financial Wellness Office
- Budgeting for College
- Living on a Student Budget
- Eating on a College Budget
Studies have shown that most college students will struggle with mental health at some point during their college experience. Talking to your student about emotional preparedness will help them quickly adapt to their new home and the challenges associated with starting college. This includes:
- The ability to take care of oneself
- The ability to create and maintain healthy relationships
- The ability to understand and manage challenging or uncomfortable feelings and behaviors
- The ability to adapt to new situations and environments
- Do you know your student T# and email?
- Do you have your class schedule?
- Have you scheduled a personalized visit with your ACE?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Anxiety about moving, living on their own
- Excitement about being independent
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Excitement about coming back to campus.
- Nervousness about living with someone new.
- Lack of motivation for their second year of college
How can you help?
- Before your student leaves for college initiate these critical conversations with them so they can stay safe and out of trouble.
Student Code of Conduct. Take some time to look over it with your student so they know they have standards to uphold. - Safe Partying. You’ve probably talked to your child about alcohol use, however, have you talked to them about never accepting a drink in an open cup without seeing what has been poured? Also talk to them about keeping an eye out for their friends and making safe choices.
- Consent. Consent is permission to engage in sexual activity, given through words and actions. Consent must be provided at each increment of sexual activity, and consent to past sexual activity doesn’t confer consent for future sexual activity. Make sure your student reads the University’s Title IX policy and understands the definition of consent.
- Cheating and Plagiarism. Make sure your student reads the syllabus for each of their classes. It will have a section about cheating and plagiarism. If they aren’t sure about something, they should talk to their professor before moving forward.
- Mental Health. College can be hard. Learning to live on your own, making new friends, navigating a new environment, and developing many new skills can cause a lot of stress to new students. It is completely normal for students to struggle and experience some anxiety during these different phases of college life.
One of the best skills that can help students be more successful is to develop Emotional Preparedness. Being emotionally prepared for college life and beyond can be summarized into the four following areas:
- The ability to take care of oneself
- The ability to create and maintain healthy relationships
- The ability to understand and manage challenging or uncomfortable feelings and behaviors
- The ability to adapt to new situations and environments
- Talking to your student about emotional preparedness will help them quickly adapt to their new home and the challenges associated with starting college.
Conversation Starters:
- What are you most nervous about?
- What are you most excited about?
- Have you started thinking about what you are packing?
- What does your housing provide and what do you need to bring?
- When is your move-in day?
- When is your Thunder U Orientation?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Anxiety about the unknown.
- Excitement for independence.
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Lack of interest in their schedule.
- Not sure about their major.
How can you help?
Your student probably won’t think about packing until the week they leave. Be aware of what packing essentials your student will need/want and be ready to help them navigate what the necessities will be. Consider the following:
- Climate. We experience all 4 seasons here.
- Closet & underbed organizers, command strips,
Have your student communicate with their roommate so they don’t double up on room items that they can share. - Medication/items to have when they get sick. (cold medicine, tissues, soup, gatorade, etc)
Basic cleaning supplies - Photos. They will get homesick, having some photos of family and friends will help.
Conversation Starters:
- How are you settling into your housing arrangements?
- Have you looked at the syllabus for each class?
- What are your goals for the semester?
- Have you introduced yourself to your professors?
- Would you like us to come for Family Weekend?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Homesickness
- Adjusting to living with someone new.
- Learning to manage their time.
- Balancing social and academic life.
- Navigating campus
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Adjusting to living with someone new.
- Less excitement about college.
- Harder classes
How can you help?
Your student will struggle with roommate frustrations, adjusting to time management, meeting new people, college classes, etc. Resist the temptation to step in and fix their problems. Keep the communication open and guide them in the right direction when they come to you with their problems.
Conversation Starters:
- How have you gotten involved outside of the classroom?
- How much time do you devote to studying each week?
What are your plans for Fall Break?
- Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Haven’t found their core group of friends.
- Unsure about visiting their professors or advisors.
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Academic stress.
- Hard time staying motivated.
How can you help?
Encourage your student to utilize SUU’s free resources on campus. If they are struggling with academics or sense of belonging, we provide resources to help them through these things. Also encourage them to meet with their academic advisor if they aren’t sure what classes to take in the Spring.
Conversation Starters:
- What are you doing to stay healthy?
- When do you register for spring classes?
- Have you scheduled an appointment with your advisor?
How are your finances holding up?
- Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Roommate issues
- Winter sickness or other health issues
- Academic stress as end of semester assignments get closer.
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Time management issues
- Winter sickness or other health issues
- Academic stress as end of semester assignments get closer.
How can you help?
Be aware that students will start to feel academic pressure leading up to finals. Encourage them to use our tutoring, writing, and speech and presentation centers. Encourage your student to make their health and wellness a priority by eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep.
Conversation Starters:
- How have you started preparing for final exams or projects?
- Are you getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising?
- How are you handling your stress level?
- What are your plans for holiday break?
Your first-year student may be experiencing:
- Stress of final exams.
- Anxiety about returning home.
- Financial concerns due to holiday gifts and travel costs.
- Questioning their major.
Your second-year student may be experiencing:
- Stress of final exams.
- Anxiety about returning home or staying on campus to work.
- Planning for spring semester.
How can you help?
Encourage your student to practice mindfulness and stress relieving activities. Send them a final exams care package to remind them that you are rooting for them. Encourage your student to rest and relax during the winter break. This is also a good time to encourage your student to realign their goals for the spring semester and look for a job for when they return to campus.